Happiness Galore Units
by Lady Cordelia Black
Summary: Have you ever wanted to own your own Hetalia character? Well now you can thanks to Happiness Galore! It only takes one easy payment of soda to own one! We will take anything you request! Want a female lover who's like Italy? No problem! Want a less than sane person? You got it! Just shoot us a message and we will get on your order asap!
1. Romano (Lovino Vargas) Unit

Dear buyer,

Happiness Galore is proud to present you with your very own Romano (Lovino Vargas) unit! Below you'll find the care guide, items included, and activation instructions! If you are displeased with your unit just deactivate him and we will exchange him or give you a full refund! We thank you for buying our product. And if your looking for the information on the site just go back there~

Sincerely,

Stacie and Kiara, CEOs of Happiness Galore

3

Care guide for your Romano Unit

Please refrain from placing your Romano unit near the Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) unit. Your Romano unit will proceed to call him variations of "Potato Bastard."

If you have both the Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas) unit and Romano (Lovino Vargas) unit your Romano unit will proceed to blame anything that goes wrong on the Veneziano unit. (Please note that Romano represents the Southern half of Italy while Veneziano represents the Northern half of Italy.)

Please, for the love of all that is good and wholesome in this world, DO NOT let your Romano unit near his Second Player self. An all-out war will ensue destroying your home and anything you hold dear. In fact, keep most of our units away from their Second Player selves. It tends to get quite messy and we will not reimburse you for disregarding or warning.

Items included

Brown military uniform (1 complete with tie and shoes)

Casual Clothes (1 outfit) [Feel free to buy him more if you so desire.]

Mustache (1)

Chef's hat (1)

Basket of Tomatoes (1)

How to activate your new Romano unit!

There are three ways you can do this. The first way is to play any sort of Italian music, this is the best way to activate your unit without him yelling at you. The second way is to either speak Italian or Spanish, how he reacts depends on which you choose. A warning from Stacie, if you choose Spanish he may call you a "Tomato Bastard" if you're male, if you're female he'll just flirt with you. And the last way is to make an Italian dish, this is by far the easiest and quietest way to get him activated.


	2. Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas) Unit

Dear buyer,

Happiness Galore is proud to present you with your very own Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas) unit! Below you'll find the care guide, items included, and activation instructions! If you are displeased with your unit just deactivate him and we will exchange him or give you a full refund! We thank you for buying our product. And if your looking for the information on the site just go back there~

Sincerely,

Stacie and Kiara, CEOs of Happiness Galore

3

Care guide for your Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas) unit!

He considers himself to be best friends with our Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) and Japan (Kiku Honda) units, so having your Veneziano unit around these two will benefit you more than anything else.

Be sure he doesn't learn French. To this point it is unknown what the Veneziano unit will do but we're not too keen on finding out.

He loves to eat pasta and having a lot of it will make him very happy.

We ask that you **do not** let him near his second player self. Trust us; it will only end in disaster and possibly bloodshed.

If you have both the Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas) unit and Romano (Lovino Vargas) unit your Veneziano unit will proceed to cry and/or cower when your Romano unit yells at him. (Please note that Romano represents the Southern half of Italy while Veneziano represents the Northern half of Italy.)

Items included with your unit

Blue military uniform (1)

Casual clothes (1 outfit) [feel free to buy him more if you so desire]

White surrender flag (1)

Box of pasta [complementary] (1)

How to activate your Veneziano unit!

There are three ways we know of that you can do this. First is put a pretty girl in front of him. He will then proceed to flirt with the girl and speak Italian. The second way is to make him pasta. Do this and he will love you forever. And the last way is play the Italian National Anthem, this one works fantastically from Kiara's opinion.


	3. Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) Unit

Dear buyer,

Happiness Galore is proud to present you with your very own Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) unit! Below you'll find the care guide, items included, and activation instructions! If you are displeased with your unit just deactivate him and we will exchange him or give you a full refund! We thank you for buying our product. And if you're looking for the information on the site just go back there~

Sincerely,

Stacie and Kiara, CEOs of Happiness Galore

3

Care Guide for your Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) unit

It would be great for him if you kept everything very clean. Seriously we're talking like near sterile clean. He's a major neat freak and will clean if there's a mess no matter what the mess is for.

He's friends with our Veneziano (Feliciano Vargas) and Japan (Kiku Honda) units and gets along with them the best.

We ask that you **do not** let him near his second player self. Trust us; it will only end in disaster and possibly bloodshed. Seriously we cannot stress this enough. (Please note that Happiness Galore will not reimburse you if you're stupid enough to put them together.)

Make sure he exercises a lot. Because let's face it you'd rather have a buff German living with you than a fat one.

Don't let him near our Romano (Lovino Vargas) unit. The latter will begin to yell at Germany and/or try to beat him up

Also if you have our Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) unit they will begin drinking.

Items included

Green Military uniform (1 complete with iron cross)

Casual Clothes (1) [feel free to buy more if you so desire]

Rifle (1) [please keep away from children under 16]

Herr Stick (1)

How to activate your Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) unit

Fastest way, make a mess around the crate. He will proceed to clean it faster than you can say 'F**k like a Kennedy.' The next best way is to yell in an Italian accent "Germany! Germany! Help me!"


	4. Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) Unit

Dear buyer,

Happiness Galore is proud to present you with your very own Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) unit! Below you'll find the care guide, items included, and activation instructions! If you are displeased with your unit just deactivate him and we will exchange him or give you a full refund! We thank you for buying our product. And if you're looking for the information on the site just go back there~

Sincerely,

Stacie and Kiara, CEOs of Happiness Galore

3

Care Guide for your Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) unit

Make sure there's plenty of beer around.

Don't let him near our Austria (Roderich Edelstein) and Hungary (Elizabeta Héderváry) units because he has a long standing rivalry with these two.

If he's around out Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) unit they will get drunk fairly quickly. Hence the first bullet point.

Items included

Military Uniform (1 complete with iron cross)

Casual clothes (1 [Feel free to buy him more])

Gilbird (1)

'Prussia Approved' stamper with ink pad (Complementary)

How to activate your Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) unit

The first, and most effective way, is to yell out 'I HAVE BEER FOR YOU, AWESOME PRUSSIA!' He'll love you for this. The second way is to stand in front of the crate and say 'I'm the most awesome person I know.' He'll then begin to tell you why you are less awesome than him. The last way is to sit our Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) unit in front of the crate.

**LC: Sweetness! I finally got another chapter up!**

**Prussia: Kesesesese bout time you advertised me frau!**

**LC: Don't you have beer to drink?**

**Prussia: Oi, readers! Next chapter The awesome-but-not-as-awesome-as-me Cordelia will be answering your review questions! So leave a lot of them, especially sexual ones!**

**Edit: Fixed the letter. Sorry my bad!**


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